Morning started with a rainstorm, but now sunshine streams through my window. Along with the sun, I’m blessed with two emails. Mr. Tony Emumelu of the Zenith Bank of Nigeria informs me that I’ve inherited $14.6 million from someone who isn’t even a relative. And 23-year-old Betsy Johnson has asked me to become her special pal on Romance.com. Of our planet’s 6.6 billion candidates, both chose me!

After a brief struggle between greed and romance, I renounce the prospect of becoming one of the world’s richest men and choose a relationship with Betsy.

Why not take both? Because I wouldn’t know whether Betsy only wants me for my money.

On Betsy’s pal site, I learn that in order to consummate our relationship, it will cost $5/month for a premium membership. So I ask Mr. Emumelu whether he will spot me the fee if I sign the remainder of the $14.6 million over to him.

monthly bills—
a cuckoo’s egg
in the warbler’s nest

—First appeared in Frog Pond (2009); republished here by author’s permission from Landmarks: A Haibun Collection (Haibun Bookshelf Publishing, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada; 2015)

Bio: Ray Rasmussen